TIME 4 SUM FUN - The MJ Caption Thread: Day 24

65.2 - Strewth Robert! I'm fair dinkum honoured to be back in Australia coz I roolly love it, 'specially this bonza red hat. I feel like an Aussie country boy at heart, yeehah!

65.2 - Beauty Robert! I love Australia so much, hence this corker of a hat, which is why I'm stoked to be back particularly when my wife Dorita IS Australian.

65.2 - No worries, Robert! I reckon this red hat is me lucky charm as I'm talkin' like an Aussie, mate. Whenever I'm in Australia, it always feels like a Thrilla ya know.

65.2 - Eat your hearts out, Molly Meldrum and Crocodile Dundee, hee, hee, hee, hee..........

65.1 - Quick Dorita! The danceathon is about to start, come out of that dressing room pretending to be me, OK?

65.1 - Hey Dorita, check out the L.O.V.E. Express neon tunnel! Funky isn't it? Enough for us to rock up to each other and lighting up the night, heh heh heh.

65.1 - Don't be shy Dorita, these lights don't bite. Seems that I'm the King, I take control and destiny over these lights with my magnetism, charm and hypnotism.

64.3 - (growls) Oh, holy crap, that bloody indigestion is playing up on me again had it not been for my lifetime obsession with KFC.

64.3 - I think I swallowed a bug and ya know how I bloody loathe 'em to bits. Can someone please get this bug outta my system? Ta!

64.3 - Aow!!! These sharp pangs are hitting on me again. Ah, they're rhinestones and sequins that Jermaine made me digest. Imma gonna kill 'im after the show!

64.2 - Don't even think about stashing Big Red up my legs! Ya know what happens to ya when ya do that! Yep, that's right, you'll be run over by a trolley!

64.2 - Listen up, just wait till Dorita hears about your disgusting plan to stuff bugs up my butt, she has a giant sized Mortein can handy to spray ya big time!

64.2 - Excuse me, who let this gerbil up on stage and what does he want with my gold pants? He ain't laying one filthy finger on it as I need to preserve my sensuality ya know.

64.1 - Put yo' hands up in da air, wave 'em like ya just don' careh!

64.1 - Bend and stretch, reach for the stars. Ooh, I'm one of them, bugger!

64.1 - OK, you've caught me red handed, I'll hand you over the gold pants stashed in my pocket.

63.3 - Oh boy, I'm knackered. Can't the King have his royal rest every once in a while? Sheesh!

63.3 - I've just invented a great new dance routine you can do sitting down - you just moonwalk using the glute muscles and you've got it down pat.

63.3 - Psst, cover me, that dreaded traitor Bashir is after me again. I need all the protection I can get.

63.2 - Liz, look, how did Bubbles get in? He made a huge mess on my banana garden this morning and I'm afraid he's just crashed this party too.

63.2 - Oh my God, Liz, they want to ask where you stash your Cleopatra crown and jewels. Shall we tell 'em?

63.2 - Are you after Madonna? Sorry, wrong party, she's at the Virgin nightclub where she's the guest of honour.

Lauren's back even if she's still recuperating from her injuries so other than that, everything's just about back to normal.

Here comes her unique photos and quotes:-



63.1 - May I ask what shampoo do you use? I wouldn't mind using it just to keep those pesky female fans at bay.

63.1 - Is this that apple scented hairspray you keep using? No wonder, I have a tendency in contemplating in biting your hair.

63.1 - I'm pretending to be the swan in Swan Lake just so I can peck your beautiful ear.

Bubbles, it's not popcorn, they're rings that Mother gave me for being..........Bad

Darling Bubbles, you can't eat that, they're leftovers from Jermaine's hairdresser.

Sweet Bubbles, you don't be eating it, they're Janet's doodoos from the Nasty video.

Chris: Michael, do you bet on the races?
Michael: No!!!!!! Of course not!
Chris: Right, I make a deal with ya, man
Michael: Chris, I don't want no deal, I don't gamble.
Chris: My way or nothin'!
Michael: If you insist, Chris.
Chris: Right, how about 10 bucks on the favourite for race 8, You Rock My Horse?
Michael: Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee................
Chris: Mike! Mike! Mike! What's wrong witchyu, man?
Michael: Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee................
Chris: Mike, man, s'not funny. Shamone, shamone!
Michael: Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee................
Chris: Aw, this is ridiculous!
Michael: Hee, hee, h....... You're not having a lend of me, are ya Chris?
Chris: Nah, fo' shizzle in da hizzle! There really IS a race horse called You Rock My Horse. It's in the form guide here.
Michael: Oh, so it is. Hee, hee, hee.......
Chris: Oh, not again.......
Michael: So you want ME to bet on this horse?
Chris: Yeah, man, yeah, so?
Michael: Alright, you've twisted my arm. Remember, if I lose you owe me big time a lifetime of KFC bucket supplies, deal.
Chris: Yeah, man, yeah. I always owe you irrespective of who loses.
Michael: That's because I'm the King Of Pop, you schmuck!

I can do this in my sleep.

I'm fantasising about KFC chicken legs again, yum.

Mama always told be careful whose legs you rub.

The originator of this thread Lauren (HeyPrettyBaby) is convalescing at home after a minor car accident with her boyfriend but only experienced whiplash, apart from that, she's doing OK. Let's keep this going just for Lauren, get well soon girl.




(panther pondering to himself) I knew I had a good reason to escape from the zoo today - I finally got my wish to purr around with Michael Jackson, purrrrrrrrrrrrrfect.

I asked for KFC and you give me a panther? Jon, you're fired!

Once I'm done with this photo, I'm taking the panther for a private KFC feed. Happy, kitty kitty?!

Psst, Tatiana, if I give ya 5 bucks, ya promise to stop stalkin' me and leave me alone?

Hey, Tatiana, short skimpy trampy dresses don't impress me, not even from the Salvation Army, git orff!

Listen Tatiana, for the last time, I'm a happily married man with a rock solid divine chastity, OK? If Dorita finds out, she's gonna flick a boomerang up your bum where the sun don't shine. She pulls no punches and is not one to be messed with, got it?

Mmmmm, lunch!

Oh, boy, Dorita's bod is staring at me again.

Is it me or am I actually seeing KFC chicken breasts?

Ah, what the heck, a few more dedicated to The Way You Make Me Feel:-

(seems as that phony site is still down )




Ya know, I'm tired of this whole showbiz sing and dance thing. I think I'm going to retire to be a philosopher just like you.

(old man) Michael, what is the secret of wearing and maintaining a glove full of rhinestones?
(Michael) Well, mate, it's like this, you have to exercise your fingers and hands like your body, you can't neglect them but keep them as relaxed as possible so that your hand is more kind to the glove.

Can you be my decoy in case I get swamped by overzealous freaks?

Seems as that phony Sony website is down again, and Lauren couldn't provide a new day's worth of pictures with captions, and Junky who started a thread about any video with girls that we could've starred in with Michael, enjoy these captions which are dedicated to The Way You Make Me Feel:-

(Why stop at 3 photos?)




Oh gee, that's beautiful. Can I take it home?

Despite the so-called experts, I think graffitti is a work of art, like Michelangelo, I love it.

Hey look at this! Prince and Paris doodled on these walls. That is so sweet.






I can now eat an entire bucket of KFC, delisssshhhhhhh!

Ya reckon I could make a good tooth enamel model spruiking Colgate, eh?

Hey! La Toya! Quit playin' with Dorita's bum, will ya? It'll cost ya your London Paladium gig.






(imitates Janet) Ya know ya want me.

Dorita, come closer darlin', I'll tell ya where I stash the glove and the gold pants, 'kay?

Pst, Dorita, after this video's ova, we'll rendezvous to the Cotton Club where we'll secretly rock the joint, 'right darl?





Where's my kiss, Bubbles?

Right, who's the drongo that put supa glue on my make-up again? They're fired!

My mouth is screaming out for more KFC breasts. Gimme some, pleeeeeeeeeeeease!






Don't worry Dorita, no-one will ever find us here, hee hee hee.

We'll be making love come hell or high.........water.

Ah! I can't go home tonight! Jermaine cut off my water supply AGAIN so I asked NYC council to deliberately burst the water main just so we can enjoy this intimate shower together. Acha-ooooh!

62.1 - Look Carlton, aren't you taking Man In The Mirror a little TOOOOOOOO literally?

62.1 - Carlton, it's not monkey see monkey do we're advertising, it's Pepsi, not copycat cola, OK?

62.2 - I hope them don't mind as I handpicked this one especially for Dorita, heh, heh, heh.

62.2 - I'm going to pick this flower and place it on my special garden named after Janet - the Spiritual Garden, aw.

62.3 - Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp! Bugger, I shouldn't have drank Pepsi, I hate the stuff, yuck!

62.3 - Hiccup! Crap! I ate one KFC breast to many. Gee that fetish has gotta stop!

61.1 - I'm more concerned about washing this thing after the KFC-a-thon I'm planning on organising.

61.1 - This can be Bubbles' play pen, hee hee hee.

61.2 - I wonder which way to get into bed with Dorita tonight. I've been having problems sneaking in lately.

61.2 - I'm planning on a new wardrobe for my next tour. Hmmmm, perhaps gold pants wouldn't be such a bad idea.

61.3 - Check out the shimmering top! It matches my smile so much, you can barely tell the difference, hee hee.

61.3 - Perhaps, if I smile a little more, maybe with all that sparkle it can camouflage with the glitter top, hee hee.

60.1 - LaToya, don't you think you're a little.........uncoordinately dressed? Look at you! The cleavage which rivals that of Dolly Parton's and wrinkled muffin tops that's akin to Kim from Kath and Kim. Look at moi when I'm talking to you, LaToya.

(LaToya - Yes, Michael *sheepishly shy and embarrassed*)

60.1 - LaToya, when I said I wanted KFC, I didn't mean YOU showing some flesh for all the world to see.

(LaToya - You're right as usual, Michael)

60.2 - Turn off the bloody fan, please! You're literally blowing me away. I'm wincing with pain now that I've busted my hip and obliques. Aow!!!!

60.2 - You've turned the fan on too early, I haven't finished my dance! (mutters) Stupid imbeciles! When are they gonna bloody learn? Sheesh!

60.3 - Prince Albert, you know I love you and all but will you please, for the bloody love of God, let go of this wretched trophy once and for all. It's got MY name engraved on it, not YOURS, OK, mista?

60.3 - No offence, Prince Albert, but you really have to get over this fetish for me wearing gloves OK? You're only jealous because I made it both a fashion statement and an artform.

59.1 - Ahem, excuse me Jesse and Larry, I'm the king of this joint so don't mess with me, or my jacket, got it?

59.1 - Listen guys, for the last time in plain English, this jacket is seven inches LONG, not seven inches IN, 'kay?

59.2 - You put your right arm in, you put your right arm out, you put your right arm in and shake your arm down to the ground.

59.2 - Marlon, don't even think about doodling my back coz I know where ya playin' at! Jackie, you put your arm out too early before ******I****** did! Imma gonna give ya both a gloved spankin' when we finish the show, ya dig?

59.3 - Just when I thought I was going to have peace and quiet in this remote part of town........frenzy strikes again. AAAAAAAAArgh!

59.3 - (sings and gallops) We're off to see the wizard, the....what? Oh, bugger, fan attack! How the hell am I supposed to get outta here through this frenzy? I'm in a dead end, aaaaaah!

58.1 - Boys, you need to polish my shoes a little more so that I can moonwalk straight home rather than across the stage!

58.1 - Now that you're under my spell, once I click my fingers, you're both Bubbles the chimp, heh, heh, heh.

58.2 - Ooh, Dorita, come a little bit closer and I'll whisper some KFC secrets to ya.

58.2 - OK, I'm smouldering now! The camera is supposed to have cracked on cue by now.

58.3 - Ah, shhhh, push it........p-push it real good! Aow!

58.3 - OK, who put doodoo on my shoes again? Don't follow what I do! It's not monkey see, monkey do! Imma gonna kill that iggit who did this!

56.1 - I can't keep it in the closet because this is actually an SUV, you moron!

56.2 - Steppin' out for my daily KFC fix, yum-meeeeeeeeee!

56.2 - Ugh! I can't dance in these! Spandex is so bloody stiff (wriggles) ugh-ugh-ugh!

56.2 - Look Marlon and Randy, for the bloody umpteenth time, this Spandex suit was NOT, I repeat, NOT purchased from the Salvation Army. For yo' info, Mamma made it for me, 'kay?
(Marlon and Randy make jealousy childish noises - ooooooooooooooooooo!)

56.3 - Sorry girls, but these pants ain't for sale.

56.3 - Gee, these pants are a little tighter than normal. Must be my KFC diet. Make note to myself - must stop eating KFC.

56.3 - Oh dear, I think girls are starting to latch onto my pants. No wonder, they're magnitising, heh heh heh!

55.1 - Are you sure this floorboard is bug-free? I ain't gonna trip on one for fear of killin' it. Besides they scare the the crap outta me.

55.1 - Oh, those bloody lights, I forgot my sunnies backstage! I feel like Stevie Wonder, bugger!

55.2 - Oh dear, I hope I haven't forgotten that after-concert dinner rendezvous with Dorita, otherwise she's-a gonna kill me - glove in fist and all. (panics) AAAAAAAAh!

55.2 - Am I holding a mic or a chicken wing? I'm so bloody hungry right now, I need my KFC fix, the secret to a gruelling concert tour.

55.3 - Woooooh! Can I go on it again? Can I, can I, can I? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease, pretty pleeeeeease with doodoo on top?

55.3 - Woohoo!!!!!!!! I wonder if this ride can go backwards coz I'm on a moonwalking vibe. I love gravity, hee hee!

54.1 - Hey Marlon, I'll make you an offer you can't refuse. I'll let you wear the glove on the proviso that you keep your Mafia Godfather hands off me, deal? ;)

54.2 - Who's this schmuck pretending to be me? CUT!!!!!!

54.2 - Once I yell out "ACTION!", you must personify Bubbles with every fibre of your body, got it?

54.3 - I'm not usually good at pick-up lines but if you were a glove, I'd wear you like a second skin.

54.3 - Um, 'scuse me ma'am, any Pepsi around here? Geez, I'm bloody thirsty from being chased by the paps yet again.

53.1 - What's your problem? Ever seen a black fella in a tux before? Drop off, nincompoop!

53.1 - Say what? I don' need no 'tude from you, mista. I'm da king dude of 'tude, know wha' I'm playin' at, brotha!

53.1 - Sorry Madonna, I beat ya to the punch when it comes to strike a pose, HA!

53.2 - Dorita, you always have to be in my dreams, don'tcha? I love ya gerrrl, but I need to dream of something else for a change, 'kay?

53.2 - Oh dear God, I've drifted off to Neverland. Not just any Neverland but this particular one surrounded by buckles, sequins, rhinestones and tiles and any other projectile that light up every time I make contact with them. Beautiful!

53.3 - Aw, ain't he sweet! I think I'm going to name him Doodoo because I can. He's just so adorable and just like a doodoo.

53.3 - Aw, I can't believe he's so clean and fresh. I think I'm going to name him Smelly.